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This is what it takes to be a true Ohio Stater, a real Buckeye:
| Never agree to get married on a Saturday Ohio State is scheduled to play football. There are typically 40 other freakin' weekends to choose from...sack up and make her choose one of those! | |
| Never attend a wedding during an Ohio State football game unless you carry a TV......and watch it even during the ceremony. | |
| It
is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old....and fat....and
bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on backwards, sit
in the "Huntington Club" seats and repeatedly spill stuff on anyone
named "Chas" or "Muffy." (Make sure you do so early and often because
they'll be long gone by the end of the third period). Maybe some "real"
fans will take their seats. see the rest of the list here |
You've
seen the television ads, "It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno!" But just
because they can afford the TV spots, doesn't mean they make the best
tasting frozen pizzas. Next time you decide to bake pizza yourself
instead of ordering in, give these frozen pizzas a chance:
| 1. | Red Baron Microwavable French Bread |
| 2. | DiGiorno's Pepperoni Rising Crust |
| 3. | Edwardo's Chicago Deep Dish |
see the rest of the list here
These actors and actresses have won more Oscars than any others:
| Katharine Hepburn - 4 |
see the rest of the list here
Who has won the most Grammy Awards ever?
| 1. | Sir George Solti - 38 Grammys |
see the rest of the list here
Greetings Listers! Have you ever read Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury? How about Kerouac’s On the Road? If so, then you understand the random thoughts of stream of consciousness. If not, let me have the honor of presenting you your first experience – in a milder, easier-to-read format. These are my ten random thoughts: Do you think the most successful people in the world – the Forbes 500 CEOs, the two-time Academy Award winners, the Olympic gold athletes, etc. etc. – are also the world’s morning people, those who love the sound of the alarm, or even wake up before it buzzes, those who wake up, cook breakfast, drink coffee and workout before the golden sun rises? Try and describe a golden sunrise without using a color – you can’t, its impossible - you can’t describe a color without using another color or using an object that is a color, green is green, or green is yellow and blue, or green is a tree, but green is not anything else. Green, the color of money, the color of greed, cheating greedy Forbes 500 CEOs. “Once a cheater always a cheater?” And does cheating on one thing mean he or she will cheat on anything? Does competition breed cheaters, or does a lack of willpower breed cheating, an addiction to cheating? Don’t you wish what you knew now you knew in high school? There is so much more to the world and to the people in this world than you ever managed when being “cool” was the only thing that mattered – but maybe its better being blind, high school was so much easier? Easy isn’t always the best, in fact, the hardest path is usually the best direction to head, but do you think the world’s leaders know this, I mean, they’ve heard the clichés before I’m sure, but do they really understand it? And do you? Don’t you think unless we become a part of some global empire, on a hippie-ish peaceful earth, nuclear weapons will be fired; there will be a nuclear holocaust? It seems inevitable. Won’t the world’s leaders will do “whatever it takes?” Don’t be blind to the tasteless greed. What if the only thing you could drink was milk, water, and the alcohol brewed in a bathtub? How miserable would that have been back-in-the-day? Imagine no soda pop, no Ocean-Spray, no Starbucks, no Budweiser. What would you drink with dinner? What would you drink at work? Work, work, work. What a negative connotation that word has now. A career is something different from work; “career” has a positive feeling, a positive reception from the ears of the opposite sex. But work is something you dread late on weeknights, have to wake up for in the morning, and can’t wait for Friday because of. Friday’s almost here! Maybe I will go see Jessica Alba in “The Eye” – then again, maybe I won’t, it seems like Hollywood’s new horror flick formula is to put a hot actress, a scary little kid with long hair, and some flashes of white faces in the dark, and the movie will be scary. Besides, I saw “Rambo” last Friday and “Lions for Lambs” on Tuesday at the dollar theater, no real urge to dish out real box office prices again so soon. “Rambo” amazing, gory, action-packed, and Sly is a more believable John then you can imagine, thank the HGH fountain of youth. Anyone responsible for the making of “Lions for Lambs” might as well sport a donkey pin on their chest and picket the streets with anti-Bush signs. There is basically a 50% chance a woman or African-American will be the next President of the United States. Bet those people who used to drink alcoholic bathtub concoctions never thought that would happen. Just like the ’72 Dolphins probably thought their undefeated-season record would stand forever. My apologies for another cliché but, “records are made to broken,” and no one understands this as well as the Patriots QB Tom Brady. Do you think he is morning person? |
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How’s your resolution coming along? You realize it is only day 11 right? Don’t worry, I am not doing so well either. I told myself I wouldn’t be so obsessed with making lists for every little task in my life. You should’ve seen it – there were daily to-do lists, weekly to-do lists, movies to see, music to download, grocery lists, reading lists, lists on my Treo, lists on my fridge, and lists covering my desk. Well, there are still lots of lists but I am not as obsessed with it. Then again, what could I really expect, I do have a pretty influential list-making job. What was your New Year’s Resolution? Were you creative? Or did you choose something generic: to lose 20 pounds, to run 5 miles every week, to read more books, or to quit smoking? Those generic ones are often harder to stick to. Try being creative, instead of a generic diet resolution, try something like only drink soda when you are out to eat, or instead of picking a random resolution out of your favorite fitness magazine, try to find a sport you like (or even a Nintendo Wii game like Wii Sports) and joining a league or playing with friends a few times every week. Don’t just say you’ll read more books; make a list of books you want to read. Just because John and Heather say you should spend less, save more, and watch your debt disappear, doesn’t mean that should be your New Year’s choice. Try to make something fit your lifestyle; for instance, don’t buy a new DVD every Tuesday, or instead of going to Outback for dinner, try grilling out back your home instead. No one else can make your resolution for you. But you can get some very creative ideas from others’ resolutions. And remember, resolutions don’t have to start on January 1st, you can always make willful changes any day of the week, any week during the year. |
Season’s Greetings Listers!
And Happy Holidays. Unless of course, you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet? Or if you are in any way related to Britney Spears? Did you hear her 16-year-old little sister is pregnant now? And her mom’s “parenting” book has been delayed indefinitely. Maybe now grandma will have time to add a new chapter on teen pregnancy and their bald, party-animal aunts? Then again, maybe you have another reason to not be merry? Or maybe you’re just one of those real-life Scrooges? Well don’t be a Grinch! So you don’t like the mall’s hour-long checkout lines. And your rear-wheel-drive, two-door car sucks on the unsalted, unplowed roads. And maybe your honey-do list gets a little longer this time of year. Whatever your reason to be bah-humbugger, there are plenty of reasons to be a Cindy Lou Who instead; besides the usual family, friends and health. Hate the commercialized Christmas? Make it a religious holiday. Remember that December 25th is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus. Hate the holy, spiritual side? Celebrate the social side. The holidays are a time of gathering. Besides seeing old friends and long-lost family members, it’s a chance to meet new people. Come out of your shell and shake hands with strangers at your office party, or look for some cutie standing alone under the mistletoe at the bar. Hate the social obligations? Curl up on the couch with a warm blanket and cup of eggnog next to a crackling fire and sparkling Christmas tree. Or go play fetch with your dog in the snow. Or take a stroll through the local holiday decorations. ‘Tis the season! Or just get out of town you Grinch. If you just don’t want to celebrate Christmas, take the expected time off of work or school to go on a vacation. In any case, if you’re a holiday Scrooge today, try and remember how special it was as a child. And if you’re childhood holiday memoirs were glum, you can always make new memories Mañana.
Greetings Listers!
So today is my birthday. I’m 24. Do I feel any older? You know what, I actually do! Twenty-four years of celebration, 24 years of experience and immaturity, 24 years of wisdom and stupidity. Anyway, it got me thinking about the circular evolution of the birthday. You parents will often say, your birthday was the happiest day of their lives. Throughout your childhood, birthdays were the biggest celebrations possible, with clowns and cake and confetti. Back then, your age was always the first thing on your mind and the first question you were asked. Remember when your age directly correlated to how “big” you were? As you get older, some other factors unfortunately begin to determine how “big” you are - but that’s a whole other issue - back to the birthday timeline. The teenage birthdays become less a celebration of you, and more a celebration of milestones and newfound freedoms. At 13 you’re officially a teen, 16 can drive, 18 an adult, and at 21 drink. After that, the celebrations become a little less exciting and come around a little more quickly every year (I’d like to tell you they don’t really come faster, but according to some mathematical law of fractional differences, they actually do). By then, the clowns and confetti are gone, and your cake isn’t big enough to hold all your candles. Have you ever forgotten how old you are? Its crazy to think you used to be able to show those tall people how old you were with the fingers on your hand. But just because you can’t count how old you are on your fingers and toes anymore, doesn’t mean it’s not exciting. Sure, no one will be screaming on your 25th like they did at the bar at midnight of your 21st (because they probably won’t be as drunk), but all those birthdays coming up that end in zeros are celebrations of different milestones in your life. And think, at the big 5-0, you will only be halfway through your entire life. Half way! Imagine all the things you did in the last half of your life? Seems like a lot, huh? There will be more career accomplishments, new relationships, and every day excitements. Heck, the Yankees might even win another pennant in your lifetime. And you always have the Denny’s senior citizen discount to look forward to. There is always more. And if and when you have a child of your own, the evolution will start all over again with their birthday, the happiest day of your life.
Greetings Listers!
It’s almost here! A day of feasting followed by fatigue. A day of indulgence then reduction. No, not Thanksgiving you glutton - Black Friday! On Black Friday, Americans everywhere indulge themselves in spending and feast on super-reduced sales at stores that open so early in the morning they shouldn’t be early-bird specials, but night-owl specials. Now why would you think I was talking about Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day of gratitude and grace (no matter if you believe it a secular or religious holiday). But by no surprise, America has turned it into a day of full of turkey and football. Now I’m not trying to bash Thanksgiving, because, just being Americans we have so much to be thankful for (i.e. every soldier fighting the war on terror). But the real excitement follows. Thanksgiving is just the start. Thanksgiving is Black Friday Eve. And thank goodness for “Turkey Day” because if it wasn’t for all that tryptophan consumption and Thanksgiving Day napping, you’d never be able to wake up at 4 a.m. to stand in frigid lines outside Sears. Is nothing more American than these two days? So tomorrow morning, give your thanks and get ready for the big day. Stuff the turkey, whip the mashed potatoes, turn on the parade (or football pre-game show), pull the pumpkin pie out of the freezer, and check your local ads. Our economy will certainly be thankful.
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Lists Hidden in this Newsletter |
Black Friday Christmas Gift Shopping Lists |
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The links above are attached to these lists. |
Can’t think of any good Christmas gift ideas for someone? Try looking through these lists. |
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Find more lists at ListAfterList.com |
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If you can’t find it in these lists, try electronic window shopping here! |
We have created an archive of these newsletters if you want to reminisce. Check out the evolution of the LAL newsletter. Or if you just discovered us, see what you missed.
And don’t forget to keep tuning into ListAfterList.com on a daily basis as we continue to make an effort to improve the product for you, the lister. Some big changes are in the near future that will really put LAL on the global hotlist. So grab the lister name you want before it’s taken!
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